I am a mental blogger.
Over and over again I find myself thinking of ideas and issues and composing what I would say, how I would say it if I was to write a blog post about it. It happens all the time. I was just emptying the dishwasher and writing (in my head) about the slant of the sunlight and how I love this time of year. It was beautifully written and insightful, (still in my head). I took pictures all summer long and every time I took one of those pictures I would compose a perfect description of the activity and the feelings I was having at the moment I looked through the lens. Feelings of my family time together, gratitude for my blessings, awe of the natural world, even irritation over some bad event or annoyance have been expressed in my heart and in my mind, but not here.
I know that some of you get on this blog just to see pictures of my kids. I don't blame you. They are pretty neat kids. I also know I should have been blogging summer pictures during the summer. But I was having so much fun experiencing summer that I didn't do it so now it has become a huge project and I get bored with it easily. Another thing is that I feel very uncomfortable sometimes about what others might think of what I have written. I am afraid of being judged poorly and thought of as stupid. That is lame and juvenile, I know.
So here is what's up.
1. I need to post pictures and tell of activities and the goings on of my family so that those family members who live far away can see them. It has been expressed to me that efforts in doing this are appreciated. This is important for my little family too as this has been a good place for me to keep our family history.
2. I need an outlet. I need someplace to write what I am thinking. I need to "discuss" ideas and issues and ramble about non-important things that clutter my mind. (I cornered my mom yesterday when I know all she wanted to do was take a nap after working all day. The selfish one that is me still continued to talk and share ideas anyway. Then after the kids went to bed I cornered my husband and made him listen to me too! It was just one of those days.)
So here is what I want to do.
1. I will continue to upload pictures of my family here. I will work harder at getting them posted in a more timely fashion. (notice I didn't say immediately.)
2. I will also use this space as an outlet for my creative and thoughtful side. I will warn you if it is a blog of thought just in case you have experienced enough of my brain already and are saving your sanity by avoiding my insanity.
By the way, the sun was truly beautiful this morning as the dawn broke over the trees in my backyard and poured into my kitchen window. The house was quiet except for the random clinks and clatter of doing the dishes. It is not my favorite job by any means but today I could feel joy, love from my Heavenly Father, and gratitude for all he has given me. The loneliness and grief I have been feeling about my children leaving home was lifted for a few minutes and I felt good, I felt right, and I felt peace. I hope you feel some of this today too.
